Frequently Asked Questions

Application | Previous Residents

• Are you still taking applications?
Yes.
• How long does the residency take?
Residencies tend to take about an hour and a half, could be less or more.
• Can I do the residency even though I'm not "an artist"?
This is an artists residency, so no, absolutely not. But nothing is stopping you from calling yourself an artist, and I would never say "you're not an artist". If you really have a hang-up about calling yourself an artist, either get over it, or lie about it. Visual arts, music, performance, writing, filmmaking, composition (any medium)... the field is open for "what's art" and "who is an artist".
• Why can't I get a latte?
Those are the terms of the residency. It's important that the residency involves me buying you a cup of coffee (or tea), and quite frankly I'm not spending the extra money on a latte. Also if you get something fancy it's like, you order it, we sit down, they call your name, you get up, you come back... it's too much fuss. "Two coffees please", that's what I want to hear myself saying. If you don't drink coffee get a tea. If you don't do caffeine get an herbal tea. If you don't want coffee or tea than you do not want to do this residency. Sorry but matcha falls in the latte category, off limits. I would rather not get iced coffee, because it's too easy to drink fast, and then you're all done and I'm still sipping, it's awkward. But I will if that's your scene.
• Who is this residency for?
This residency is open to people I know, people I don't know, people I kind of know, and even to people with whom I already have a regular "let's get coffee" practice. You do not have to live in Rhode Island but you have to be able to physically transport yourself here somehow. This is for individuals only, no groups, collectives, or partnerships. Also no dogs, please do not bring your dog.

Technically this is an all-ages event but the cutoff is agency-- if you can apply to this residency by yourself and have the agency to get to a coffee shop and hang out with a stranger, you are invited. If you need someone else there in the room for peace of mind that's fine but they should be at another table.

• I already did the residency, can I do it again?
Yes, via the alumni program! [link]. But this time you buy me a beverage :)
• Where does the residency take place?
The residency can occur at any coffee shop in Providence except Starbucks, which I reject on ideological grounds. Dunkies ok. I'm always open to trying a new place but I'm only interested in coffee shops, not restaurants that have coffee. If you have a favorite place or somehere you want to try, I would love that, but I can also choose a spot no problem. I don't want to go to the Nitro place on Broadway, sorry but I don't like it!
• Can you travel to my city / town to do this residency?
No, I'll most likely be travelling by foot or bicycle from my home on the west side of Providence, so my choice of location is limited. Farthest I'll go is 2 blocks from the bike path (including select areas of Johnston and Cranston).
• Do I really have to apply online or can I just tell you I want to do the residency when I see you?
You have to apply online, that's part of it.
• I'm an AI art person, are you going to give me a hard time?
Yes, I am. In fact I'm going to go ahead and say "no AI art people". I'd have a bad time talking about this, you'd have a bad time. It would honestly ruin my day. I just hate that shit and more than it being bad I feel like it's just depressing. You're doing yourself a huge disservice. You have disavowed struggle and allowed yourself to be misinformed about the value of art to the artist. Please do not apply. If you really want to have a conversation about this that would be separate from the residency program. My fee for that is $450, payable in advance.
• Did I miss the deadline to apply?
No, the deadline is provided only for people that feel they need a deadline to accomplish anything. Using a small bit of PHP code, the deadline, as shown on the front page, regenerates each time you load the website. It is currently set to display a date always 1 week in the future.
• What are the costs involved?
The time cost is usually about 90 minutes, plus travel. Coffee or tea will be provided. The fee for this residency is $250, although scholarships are available with a 100% approval rate, bringing potential costs to the artist down to zero. There is no travel stipend.
• How can I prepare for this residency?
Coffee drinkers are advised to not have coffee beforehand, unless you really drink a lot of coffee. Also you should eat something first, it sucks to be drinking coffee and having a great time and then realize that you didn't even have breakfast and you're about to go insane. It's ok to have things you want to talk about but that is not a requirement or even preferred. The residency is at its best when we have a sort of meandering conversation that eventually winds its way to "so, what are you working on?". Presentations are frowned upon and at no point do I want to see pictures on your phone-- not your artwork, or something you're talking about, or your cats, or whatever. If you want feedback on a specific project feel free to email me about it beforehand. It's to be assumed that I already checked out your website.
• Why do I have to indicate "I'm cool"?
I realize a lot of people have difficulty saying this. I think for an application like this there should be some difficulty. You don't have to believe it or identify with it, and you absolutely do not need to convince me that it's true, but you do have to say "I'm cool". If you don't say "I'm cool" in the space provided, or if your email subject is anything other than "COFFEE RESIDENCY", I'm going to say "Thank you for your interest, unfortunately your application was not selected", and you will not be invited to reapply. I hate to do this and it's a huge bummer but I have to make sure we're on the same page. And if you can't do this simple thing, how do I know you're going to even show up? Usually with grants and residencies they have complicated ways of assessing whether or not you're cool-- they ask if you went to college and where, if you've done other residencies, if you've received grants, if you've done shows, or if you operate within especially grantable fields. With this residency there's just one way to indicate that you're cool, and (this is incredibly rare for these things) I'm telling you what it is. You have to say "I'm cool". "I'm an artist" = you are opening the door. "I'm cool" = you are going through the door. It's MINDBLOWING how many people have a problem with this. "I want to come in but be outside at the same time." Well, tough shit!

All intolerable punishers are welcome to test me on this! All cool people come on in!